Saturday, May 11, 2013

I got married on credit


My family friend runs an Events centre and from what she says, getting married on credit seems to be a new trend in Lagos. 

Brides want to look pretty – get professional make up and a glamourous dress, entertain guests in hundreds and serve a vast menu of continental and local meals at their wedding in a nicely decorated and air-conditioned marquee which they cannot afford. 

My friend’s latest experience was with a bride who made a 50% deposit for the venue, food and drinks, and decor. She promised to pay up the balance until 2days before the wedding, so it was secured and not released to any other intending customer. To her surprise, the balance was not paid but they wedding took place regardless. It was on the wedding day that friend realised that  she wasn't the only one that had been fooled when the caterer and decorator each began to grumble. 

It turned out that Mrs. Newly Wed had a wedding on credit and the big question her vendors all asked each other was – “how do we all get our balance payments, now that she had achieved her objective?” 

They feared that she’d go on honeymoon and return to her life as usual and pretend she never had dealings with them, and they couldn’t put a leash around her neck to get her pay. After all, guests had come and gone, they had been well entertained and wowed by the beautiful reception, so she had nothing to loose. They feared that a woman who was ruthless enough to proceed with a wedding party with all confidence that her vendors would deliver despite that she hadn't fully paid for food and drinks most especially, would easily walk away in a country like Nigeria where people got away with just about anything. 

Sad, isn’t it? More so when one realises that all of this injustice is born out of a desire to impress people. Each person is trying to outdo the next with a so-called 'Talk of the town' wedding. Everything in Lagos is now a charade. 

What is wrong with having a small wedding with a few guests, if that’s what you can afford? Life was so much simpler in the days of our parents, but now, our values are gone with the wind. These days, it's okay to cheat others in the pursuit of happiness. When you take advantage of people they call you a SHARP GUY or SHARP BABE, as in this case. Doing what is right is no longer in vogue.

Everything is now a facade.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

My wicked female boss


I am very thankful for all the comments that keep coming. I have tried to reply several but I am unable to, it seems there’s a problem with my Blog settings and I haven’t figured out how to address whatever the issue might be.

One of my readers commented that he/she usually visits my Blog for some advice, so today, I will be giving some advice to young and upcoming professionals. I have been an employee for about 11 years now, so please permit me to do so.

May is month during which workers world over are celebrated and I usually take some time to reflect because May 2nd happens to be the anniversary of my first full-time job.

As I took some time to reflect on my journey as a career woman on the 1st of May, I realised that the notion that ‘female bosses’ tend to be wicked, is really not true but a case of stereotyping. In Nigeria, there’s a lot of stereotyping and hostility towards female bosses who are either Single or Married without Kids. When you scold a junior colleague, they say '"she is mean and it’s because she’s not married or haven’t got children". They also say women cannot work with each other.

I totally disagree with these notions because as I recall, I have had good and bad bosses in both male and female. My current boss is female and she’s awesome. She has said on a number of occasions that ‘we are proof that women can work together’. My late colleague, Nwugo who I give credits to in my Blog profile was married for 11 years without kids before she passed on, but she was one of the most amazing persons I ever met.

My conclusion is that it really isn’t a matter of the gender, but the individual beliefs and values of your boss.

Sometimes too, result-oriented bosses are misconstrued as ‘wicked’, but they are not. They simply want you to get the job done. My experience with working with such people is that you are better for it at the end of the day.

 My advice to every budding professional is – be result oriented. If you are, the ‘good boss’ will love you, and the ‘wicked boss’ will have no choice than to put up with you!

Have a lovely month of May.