Saturday, July 2, 2011

Prostitution is not an option but I have an Aristo!

Sorry love, but that makes you a prostitute. Let’s not get it twisted, young and suave at 30 or bald and pot-bellied in his fifties, as long as he’s married, he’s an Aristo.

Similarly, young, pretty and undergraduate at 18 or trendy, working-class lady at 30, single and pretty, as long as you share his bed with the hope of some monetary gain, you are a prostitute!

Let’s not get it twisted or disabuse ourselves into thinking that it is only the ladies that stand along the street by Sheraton hotel, Ikeja or Ynot in Victoria Island or wherever, waiting to be picked-up or those who sit in their brothels are the only ones who qualify to be called prostitutes.

The dictionary describes prostitution as the act or practice of engaging in promiscuous sexual relations especially for money. Am not just blabbing; even the holy book, the Bible which we all swear by defines it in like manner.

According to Hosea 2: 4-5, the Bible defines a prostitute as a woman who goes after lovers who give bread and water, wool and linen, oil and drink. The scripture states “I will not have mercy on her children, for they are the children of harlotry. For their mother has played the harlot; she who conceived them has behaved shamefully. For she said, ‘I will go after my lovers, who give me my bread and my water, my wool and my linen, my oil and my drink.”

So as long you have a lover for monetary or material gain, you’re a prostitute love!

I am inclined to write this because of several criticisms that trail prostitutes such as a particular episode of Chaz B’s Sharing life’s issues themed: Is Prostitution an Option?

Whether street girl or high class Lagos bigz girl, as long as you are sleeping with a man for material gain, you are a prostitute. The only difference between you and the street girl is that she stands on the street or sits in her room in the brothel and doesn’t need any wooing as long as her lover can pay the price. You on the other hand, will wait to be wooed with a preconceived price in mind.

Some would say to themselves, if he’s not stingy or can spoil me, I’ll date him. Some go further and say if he can buy me a car, I’ll date him. A holiday abroad and I’ll date him, or a few thousand nairas for school and gold and I’ll date him. A Hermes bag and I’ll date. Different prices for different classes of women.

There was a lot of castigation on that show and I felt pained because lots of people said poverty is not reason enough for prostitution. My question then, is a car, jewelry or clothes reason enough to have an Aristo?

Not that I agree that prostitution is an option but sometimes it is worth feeling the pain of those ladies on the street. But if I was to empathise I would rather the street hooker who was born and raised in a brothel and knows no other life, than the undergrad who has an Aristo because she wants to competes with her friends as to who has the bigger gold bracelet! If you read Francine Rivers' novel, Redeeming Love, then you would understand that some women are thrust into prostitution and know no other life.

Chaz B lost his temper with me that evening for seemingly sitting on the fence. But what really gives us a right to judge? Aristotle said some will be Kings while others are marked for subjugation. That’s the reality of our society today. There will always be the rich and the poor and by inference, prostitution! Like I said to Chaz B on that fateful day, I do not have the panacea for prostitution, but as with every menace in our society, it’s about the man in the mirror.

Show love, just because!

If you follow Lagos Inspiration FM’s presenter, Chaz B, those words would be familiar. Last Saturday, I heeded Chaz B’s call and showed love and it felt good. I did a good deed by investing in IK’s business. IK always wears a smile but on that fateful Saturday, his smile was bigger than I had ever seen.

IK is a fine cobbler who operates a small one-man business here in Lagos. I supported IK financially to purchase a work tool which should improve on his efficiency and grow his business. You may wonder, why IK? And why support a stranger at all? Well, something about IK struck me and Chaz B’s other mantra came alive, “If each one could reach one, then the world would be a better place”. I'll tell you what struck me about IK.

I came to know IK by chance. Seated at my salon about two years ago, I overheard two ladies talk about this gentleman who does amazingly with fixing their shoes. He was especially fantastic with expanding those new undersize shoes which we females force our feet into, and go ahead to buy being very aware that they are tight and not a perfect fit. But because of how pretty they are, we buy them anyway and hope they'll expand over time. Truth is, most of them never really do. For those ladies, buying undersize shoes was no longer a biggie, because IK did a wonderful job at expanding them. Being a culprit, I approached them and asked for his address and sought to try him out. The testimonials turned out to be true, but that wasn’t all I discovered.

IK has a great temperament. In his little corner, he understands customer service. A man of his words; if IK says your shoes will be ready in 48 hours, you can be sure that they will be. If you are a Nigerian, you will agree with me that that’s hardly the case when you engage the service of an artisan around here. I have had nightmares dealing with my tailors, male and female alike. But IK stood out of the pack, so I chose to show love, just because!