Thursday, December 22, 2011

Life lessons from 2011

As the year quickly draws to a close, I cannot but reminisce and while it was generally a good year, I learnt some life lessons which I would like share.

1. People who introduce themselves as Mrs. XYZ, happily married, are not necessarily happy in their marriages.

2. People who say you dress to show-off simply because you always dress nice, are simply ENVIOUS of you and wish they had your life. They are HATERS!

3. Promises are mere words of a desperate man.

4. Love your life and enjoy it because people wish they had your life.

5. It pays to be private, when there’s a little mystery about you; life is a whole lot more enjoyable.

6. Six months is enough time to see the good and bad side of every new friend – male or female!

7. People who call you insecure do so to make themselves happy, because they are insecure themselves.

8. Never be in a hurry to buy a plane ticket, you could get a better deal if you wait a little bit or a need to cancel the trip may just arise.

9. There’s no perfect marriage or relationship, enjoy every moment of what you have.

10. Your next relationship will always be better than the last, hard as it maybe, summon courage to open up your heart to someone new after a failed relationship.

11. Never judge anyone based on hear-say, give them a chance to prove themselves. You never know, they may turn out to be the best people you ever met.

12. First impressions are not always true, give people another chance to make a first impression.

13. Some people and places that lack outward finesse sometimes have gold to give.

14. Try not to borrow people money all of the time no matter how desperate they may seem, they may just end up taking you for granted.

15. The people who bless you are those you least expect to.

16. Excellence is not perfection; it is giving your best in everything you do.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Afraid to try again

I am a victim of too many broken promises

I am jaded, and too afraid to try again

I am on the brink of another broken promise and I do not know where I will find the strength to move on

He came with a lot of promises and full of hope

I begged him to let me be and make no more promises, but he wouldn’t listen

Now, once again, I am on the verge of another broken promise

Oh, when will I learn that promises are mere words?

When will I learn to stop being gullible?

Where will I find the strength to move on?

I am so afraid to try again

I cannot do this anymore

There is complete blackout out there but even more darkness in my heart

I am lying awake staring into my bedroom ceiling and wondering how to move on but I am so afraid to try again

Friday, December 2, 2011

How Cool are You?

It all began a few years ago with lol on yahoo messenger, some translated lol as ‘laugh out loud’ and other as ‘lots of love’.

Today, with the intoxication of Blackberry messenger, the list is endless and they say if you don’t know what these acronyms stand for, then you are sooooo not cool!

Aiit – Alright
ao – how
Brb – be right back
Gud – good
HBD – Happy birthday
Hw – How are you
HML – Happy married life
kk – Okay
LMAO – Laughing my a… off
OMG – Oh my God
DP – Display picture

And the list goes on and on and on…

Ao seems to be the way people with the ‘h-factor’ pronounce HOW, and I am surprised that that’s suddenly cool.

Just in case you are unaware, the h-factor refers to the inability of certain people to correctly pronounce words which begin with ‘h’ because of their local accents. So you hear them say ‘ouse’ for HOUSE, ‘ome’ for HOME, ‘hi’ for I and so forth.

While being cool has a feel good factor especially for those older ones who still want to feel young, what worries me is that the quality of spoken and written English continues to deteriorate among our youth.

I recently heard a most bizarre conversation on the radio. A lady called to complain about having not been admitted into the university and she claimed she didn’t know why? Surprisingly, when the OAP (on-air personality as they called) enquired about her JAMB score, it turned out that she had scored 105 in the previous year and declined to 99 in current year. How then was she expecting to have been admitted into a university?

It is absolutely ridiculous. The entry level cut-off mark back in the day was 200 which meant that universities would admit only students who scored above 200 in JAMB and the stakes were higher with different courses for instance, intending medical students had to score about 260 and above, and my older ones complained that our standards had fallen as that time. I wonder what they would say now.

I feel like this posts is a repetition of the last considering that my last post was about language and spoken English. However, I guess that’s the whole idea behind this blog, I get to unleash whatever bothers me!

It continues to worry me how education standards are falling in Nigeria because in truth, there’s only so much development we can attain as a nation without Education.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

A Fading Identity

Too many things have gone wrong in Nigeria and the belief that change will come with my generation and not the present crop of leaders really gets me worried. As I look around, interact with my colleagues at work and listen to the radio, I am burdened that my generation may not be able to cause the needed change. I fear that we cannot cause that change to happen because you can only preserve what you cherish. I fear that we do not cherish our country because we are losing our identity. I fear that we do not place enough value on ourselves as Nigerians. The reasons behind my fears are not farfetched - we want to dress like Americans, talk like Americans, and spend the American dollar in Nigeria. We say we are proudly 9ja but do not want to speak with a Nigerian accent that would clearly distinguish us anywhere in the world.

When I talk about speaking with a Nigerian accent, I do not mean with the h-factor i.e. HAIR pronounced as ‘air’; HEAR pronounced as ‘ear’; or the r-factor i.e. UMBRELLA pronounced as ‘umbrerra’, PLEASE pronounced as ‘prease’ or generally poor pronunciation like YES pronounced as ‘yels’, FINE GIRL pronounced as ‘fine ger’; BOYS pronounced as ‘bois’ and the numerous examples you all are aware of. I do believe however, that there is a respectable Nigerian accent that you can speak anywhere in the world and you’d be accepted. Professor Wole Soyinka, Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Chimamanda Adichie and a host of well respected Nigerians address audiences globally and speak with that ‘respected Nigerian accent’ and they receive standing ovations.

Last week, as I listened to the news on my way to work a brief excerpt from Professor Wole Soyinka’s address to Lawyers at their annual conference was aired. The Nobel Laureate stood out in his usual manual for his impeccable spoken English, but one thing was certain, he spoke with a clear and respectable Nigerian accent. On the flip side, the news presenter struggled with an accent which was neither here nor there. It was clearly not Nigerian, neither was it British or American. What baffles me most about several radio presenters in Lagos is that most have this fake accent that places them neither here nor there. I have actually wondered if that has become a criterion for getting employed in a radio station.

A new phenomenon with Nigerian employers these days is a preference for hiring Nigerians who speak with a British or American accent whether or not they have content. That same intimidation they face when they come in contact with a white man is what has translated into their recruitment style. Yet we complain that we are not respected and are discriminated against when we travel abroad, when we discriminate against ourselves. I think it is ridiculous claim because as they say, 'charity begins at home'.

Dan Forster, an African-American radio presenter at Inspiration FM in Lagos who has lived in Nigeria for about 10 years now tries to speak Yoruba but doesn’t want to lose his American accent. The French man may not speak English as well as you and I do, but when he speaks English, he does it proudly with his French accent, and so does the Germany. They have a clear identity. So why do we want to lose ours?

I was fortunate to be at the Platform 8.0, an annual motivational and leadership seminar organised by the Covenant Christain Centre earlier this year and my biggest take-out was the definition of modernisation by Anand Giridharadas, columnist for the International Herald Tribune and The New York Times online. Anand says “Modernisations is not when you create your own version of Google and rename it Noogle for instance. That would be mimickery and not modernisation. Modernisation is when the world asks, what would the world look like when they begin to do things like Nigerians did?

Let’s not lose our identity to mimickery!

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Prostitution is not an option but I have an Aristo!

Sorry love, but that makes you a prostitute. Let’s not get it twisted, young and suave at 30 or bald and pot-bellied in his fifties, as long as he’s married, he’s an Aristo.

Similarly, young, pretty and undergraduate at 18 or trendy, working-class lady at 30, single and pretty, as long as you share his bed with the hope of some monetary gain, you are a prostitute!

Let’s not get it twisted or disabuse ourselves into thinking that it is only the ladies that stand along the street by Sheraton hotel, Ikeja or Ynot in Victoria Island or wherever, waiting to be picked-up or those who sit in their brothels are the only ones who qualify to be called prostitutes.

The dictionary describes prostitution as the act or practice of engaging in promiscuous sexual relations especially for money. Am not just blabbing; even the holy book, the Bible which we all swear by defines it in like manner.

According to Hosea 2: 4-5, the Bible defines a prostitute as a woman who goes after lovers who give bread and water, wool and linen, oil and drink. The scripture states “I will not have mercy on her children, for they are the children of harlotry. For their mother has played the harlot; she who conceived them has behaved shamefully. For she said, ‘I will go after my lovers, who give me my bread and my water, my wool and my linen, my oil and my drink.”

So as long you have a lover for monetary or material gain, you’re a prostitute love!

I am inclined to write this because of several criticisms that trail prostitutes such as a particular episode of Chaz B’s Sharing life’s issues themed: Is Prostitution an Option?

Whether street girl or high class Lagos bigz girl, as long as you are sleeping with a man for material gain, you are a prostitute. The only difference between you and the street girl is that she stands on the street or sits in her room in the brothel and doesn’t need any wooing as long as her lover can pay the price. You on the other hand, will wait to be wooed with a preconceived price in mind.

Some would say to themselves, if he’s not stingy or can spoil me, I’ll date him. Some go further and say if he can buy me a car, I’ll date him. A holiday abroad and I’ll date him, or a few thousand nairas for school and gold and I’ll date him. A Hermes bag and I’ll date. Different prices for different classes of women.

There was a lot of castigation on that show and I felt pained because lots of people said poverty is not reason enough for prostitution. My question then, is a car, jewelry or clothes reason enough to have an Aristo?

Not that I agree that prostitution is an option but sometimes it is worth feeling the pain of those ladies on the street. But if I was to empathise I would rather the street hooker who was born and raised in a brothel and knows no other life, than the undergrad who has an Aristo because she wants to competes with her friends as to who has the bigger gold bracelet! If you read Francine Rivers' novel, Redeeming Love, then you would understand that some women are thrust into prostitution and know no other life.

Chaz B lost his temper with me that evening for seemingly sitting on the fence. But what really gives us a right to judge? Aristotle said some will be Kings while others are marked for subjugation. That’s the reality of our society today. There will always be the rich and the poor and by inference, prostitution! Like I said to Chaz B on that fateful day, I do not have the panacea for prostitution, but as with every menace in our society, it’s about the man in the mirror.

Show love, just because!

If you follow Lagos Inspiration FM’s presenter, Chaz B, those words would be familiar. Last Saturday, I heeded Chaz B’s call and showed love and it felt good. I did a good deed by investing in IK’s business. IK always wears a smile but on that fateful Saturday, his smile was bigger than I had ever seen.

IK is a fine cobbler who operates a small one-man business here in Lagos. I supported IK financially to purchase a work tool which should improve on his efficiency and grow his business. You may wonder, why IK? And why support a stranger at all? Well, something about IK struck me and Chaz B’s other mantra came alive, “If each one could reach one, then the world would be a better place”. I'll tell you what struck me about IK.

I came to know IK by chance. Seated at my salon about two years ago, I overheard two ladies talk about this gentleman who does amazingly with fixing their shoes. He was especially fantastic with expanding those new undersize shoes which we females force our feet into, and go ahead to buy being very aware that they are tight and not a perfect fit. But because of how pretty they are, we buy them anyway and hope they'll expand over time. Truth is, most of them never really do. For those ladies, buying undersize shoes was no longer a biggie, because IK did a wonderful job at expanding them. Being a culprit, I approached them and asked for his address and sought to try him out. The testimonials turned out to be true, but that wasn’t all I discovered.

IK has a great temperament. In his little corner, he understands customer service. A man of his words; if IK says your shoes will be ready in 48 hours, you can be sure that they will be. If you are a Nigerian, you will agree with me that that’s hardly the case when you engage the service of an artisan around here. I have had nightmares dealing with my tailors, male and female alike. But IK stood out of the pack, so I chose to show love, just because!

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Nigeria’s 2011 Elections II – Voting Like a Blind Sheep!

All is well that ends well, and so is the story of President Ebele Goodluck Jonathan and the 2011 Elections. Despite the election hitches, the killings and grievances, last week he was sworn in as Nigeria’s president. What struck me however, were the events that led to Jonathan’s triumphant re-entry into Aso Rock, the seat of power.

The 2011 elections gave a new face to Nigeria’s polls. Like never before, several Nigerians caught the election fever. A lot of young people who in the past had been disinterested in Nigeria’s elections felt like they had a stake this time around. Loads of young Nigerians got registered and didn’t just end it there, but actually turned up at the polls to vote. Several youth-led campaigns evolved - One man one vote; RSVP – Register, Select, Vote, Protect; Vote for the man and not the party and several more.

All of these were sponsored by several groups to gear the Nigerian youth to vote and not just vote but vote rightly. What represents voting rightly remains subjective. All said and done, I continue to struggle with the rationale behind the campaign - Vote for the Man and the Party.

Lots of people said they didn’t vote for PDP, the Peoples Democratic Party but voted for the man, Goodluck Jonathan. More so, they said they voted for Babatunde Raji Fashola (BRF as he is fondly called) as governor of Lagos state, Nigeria’s commercial capital but not necessarily the party ACN, Action Congress of Nigeria because they are disgruntled by BRFs open declaration of Bola Ahmed Tinubu (former governor of Lagos state) as his political godfather.

As for me, I struggle with concept of voting for the man and not the party because my belief is that when you vote an individual into power, you vote the mandate of his party. I also believe that as humans we belong to social organisations or associate with them because we believe in the values they uphold. So, if I do not believe in the values of PDP how can I then run for elections under the PDP umbrella? To the electorate, if I do not believe in the values of PDP how can I then associate with its candidate?

I shared this concern with my sister who voted for the “men” and not their parties and she argues that Nigeria’s democracy cannot be compared with more advanced democracies as obtained in the US whereby families, lineages and even regions are readily known to be die-hard Republicans or Democrats from generation to generation, with generations living and swearing by their political parties. According to her, “In those societies, the political parties have values and the people understand them but here in Nigeria?”

That got me worried but after pondering upon her words; I came to the submission that she was right. I do not know what PDP really represents. All we associate the PDP with are the zoning of government positions and stunted economic growth. What does the ACN mean to the average man? To most, ACN represents action governors who are seemingly working to develop and transform their states. I decided to pay quick visits to their websites and discovered that the PDP has a more structured website and a well thought out mission statements (see PDP mission statement. However, the opposite was the case for the ACN. There was little or no information on what ACN represents. Maybe my sister is right after all, and it is sad because like a blind sheep, Nigerians have voted continually.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Nigeria's 2011 Elections I: What Happened to the Love for Government Pikin?

Few weeks after the conclusion of Nigeria’s 2011 elections, the media has been flooded with news reports of the state funerals held in honour of the national youth corps members who were slain during the post elections violence. The thought is heart rendering as debates ensue as to whether or not the victims should be immortalized by naming a national monument after them, given national honours and whether the national youth service corps (NYSC) should be scrapped. While the federal government has announced plans to compensate the families of the deceased financially and otherwise, a lot of Nigerians insist that the NYSC scheme has lost its worth, stating that corps members have constantly been victims of ethnic and religious clashes over the last few years. They suggest that the recent killings are not a first but have only been accorded much attention because of number of individuals involved and the link to the national elections.

While I appreciate the sentiments and also question the success of the NYSC as to whether it has met it objective of national unity and integration, I recall that it had some merits and created some sense of pride back in the day.

We are told that the NYSC was instituted as a post-civil war initiative aimed at national integration and unity. The scheme is set-up in such a way that university graduates are expected to serve the nation for one year prior to securing permanent employment. They are posted out of their geo-political zone of origin to another zone to serve in different capacities largely as teachers with a view to reducing the level of illiteracy, bridging the manpower gap in the education sector, as well as in other endeavours. So, Southerns get posted up north and vice versa. Corps members learn of new cultures, psyches, languages, cuisines etc. and are better able to appreciate the lifestyles of people from a different geo-political zone. While a laudable initiative, the recent killings suggest that the initiative hasn’t quite met its objectives. However, it hasn’t been all bad.

Nigeria has six geo-political zones - the south-south, south-west, south-east, north central, north-east and north-west. I was born, grew-up and schooled in the south-south region of Nigeria. For my NYSC, I was posted to the south-west region and it marked my first time away from home and my family besides student vacations. And as a matter of fact, that is the situation with the average youth corps member.

As a youth corps member in 2000, I recall that we were fondly referred to as “Government Pikin”, were highly revered and cared for by the citizenry. Pikin in local parlance means child, implying that we were state property. I remember the first time I was referred to as a Government Pikin. It was mid-week and I had boarded a commuter bus from the NYSC secretariat where we had convened for the compulsory community development exercise popularly called CD. Fully clad in my NYSC uniform, I was beckoned upon to pay my bus fare and as I opened my purse to pay the fare, all other commuters in the bus reprimanded the checker (bus conductor as they are called in these climes) all chorusing “can’t you see that she’s Government Pikin?” Instantly, the checker apologised and moved to the next passenger. Though not a government pronouncement, it had become a rule that all corps members were exempt from paying transport fares and that was my experience throughout my national youth service. I was either never asked for a fare by the checker or there was always someone to remind the checker I was exempt. The NYSC uniform was known to open doors. It created a sense of pride and belonging for corps member and it was a good thing to be reckoned with! It gave the emotional value to education.

Four years later, my brother had an even more interesting experience. He was posted up north and to one of the states where the recent killings happened. He was well received as the new math’s teacher alongside other corps members. Being in a remote village, clean and portable water was farfetched in the real sense of the word. So the community rallying around to make the corpss member comfortable ensured that the school pupils (their children) fetched him water from the community borehole every day after school as well as run any other errand. They introduced him to the local delicacies and taught him their dialect. He returned home several months later very excited and grateful for the experience. Seven years later, we had this national crisis in the same vicinity and I wonder where did the love go?

The Lagos We Love

It was my first outing at an arts exhibition, only this time it wasn't about paintings but a photography exhibition. The finale of the Lagos Photo Amateur Competition themed – “Lagos under the Prism”. The competition commenced in October 2010 and was organised by the African Arts Foundation to mark Nigeria's 50th independence anniversary, although the finale held in 2011. The exhibition showcased the works of different people telling the story of Lagos from their minds-eye using still photography.

My choice for a winner would have been Benjamin Ofoesuwa as the green hue in his piece instantly hit me, and so much that I stopped to read the story. He celebrated the value of education and the drive of Governor Babatunde Fashola (BRF)in building Lagos into a mega city. With a wide grin, I was convinced that his piece was a winning creation. With my inartistic eyes, I would never have chosen the winning piece by Allwell Okpi titled – “Yes, I Live on Water”. For me, without his story, all I saw was the photo of a slum, not the Lagos I want to see. I was biased, so I walked past his piece severally without bothering to take a critical look. But when he was announced as the winner, I became curious and decided to go take an indepth look at his work and read the story behind his artistic creation. Allwell tells the story of the waterside properties in uptown Lagos and those of the poor. While the rich live in houses built out of concrete and marble walls alongside the waterside, the poor live in unpolished wooden houses built on stilts in the water. His story is about Makoko, a known slum in Lagos. Allwell says, though on water, people live here, make a living and manage to wear a smile.

Allwell's photo, puts Lagos under the prism and it is so true. It is the real Lagos but we shy away from it. His perspective is similar to that of Idowu Alaya whose piece I was endeared to because of my female instincts. Idowu tells the story of a girl no more than four years old feeding a goat in the semi-urban part of Lagos. Their stories are encapsulated by Fela Anikulapo Kuti’s “suffering and smiling” but it’s the Lagos we live in; it is what our cities truly look like after 50 years of independence, mega city or hinter land; it is the Lagos we love, our own New York, the jungle where dreams are made as Alicia says in her Empire State of Mind.

The event was an eye opening and gave me a true understanding of the phrase: A picture is worth a thousand words. It is ultimately the story you tell with it.

For those of us who work in Lagos Island and environs, ply the third mainland bridge, we catch a glimpse of Makoko daily. Nothing seems to change about it. It is Lagos but seems cut off from Governor BRF’s mega city plan.While we salute the efforts of Governor BRF, there’s still a lot of work to be done.

Eko o ni baje o!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Money answereth all things

It’s the eve of mother’s day, I’m ecstatic because it’s my first anniversary as a blogger. Reason for feeling elated? Not because I have loads of followers, but the fulfillment that I garnered courage to start and have followed through for one year.

It’s a Saturday and I am at a friend’s. While the boys are watching football, I’m basking in the serenity of the highly captivating neighbourhood. From the kitchen where I’m trying to fix myself an afternoon snack, I hear a scream from the living room, it’s a goal, it’s a goal, and it’s a goal! I shake my head thinking; only a few weeks ago he was lonely and very irritated simply because he wasn't financially stable.

Today, he's significantly different and that's what money brings you. With some money in your pocket, you get comfort, friendship, fun, excitement, the liberty of watching a football match on a 50 inch flat screen TV in a cozy environment amidst friends as opposed to watching alone from a Laptop!

So, why then do we humans deny that we are better beings when we have money? In my reflection, I came to the following submissions:
The difference between watching the 2011 Unknown starring Liaam Neeson at the Cinema and a pirated copy on a laptop is what your money can buy. The difference between shopping at House of Fraser or Harvey Nichols and TK Maxx is what your money can buy. The difference between wearing a Thomas Pink shirt and a TM Lewin is what your money can buy. The difference between wearing an Austin Reed shirt and a Hawes and Curtis is what your money can buy. The difference between the cars in that photo and my Kia Cerato is what money can buy. The difference between my time at a four star hotel in central London and a budget hotel also in London, is what money can buy. The difference between the highpoints of my 2006 vacation in Jo’burg and Pretoria is what money can buy. The difference between dinner at Prezzo and KFC is what money can buy.

He gets touchy when he’s broke but is the best and most generous fellow when he’s got money in his pocket. She’s a bitch and unsupportive when her partner is broke but treats him like a king when he picks up the bill, it's really about what money can buy. He doesn’t shave when his broke but when he’s got money in his pocket, he gets a nice hair cut and clean shave and becomes really handsome. She’s totally transformed when she visits the highbrow salon, that’s what money can buy.

We like to deny the fact that we are somewhat happier when we have money in our pockets, can afford the fancy clothes and cars; lunch or dinner in the highbrow restaurants, expensive gifts and vacations, but I think about all these and once again the holy book, the bible, is right in saying that ‘Money answereth all things’.

I also remember the inscription on a stock image which my friend Emma once had on her blackberry profile. It read,
Yes, money can’t buy happiness but it’s more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle.

I lol when I read it, but it is so true.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Age is Nothing but a Number… Is it?

My typical evening after work is characterised by a visit to my bedroom by my two nieces. Young as they are, 6 years+ and 23 month old, they are growing into fashionistas. And their visit, certainly not to find out how my day at work panned out but to adorn themselves with my heels and jewelry, dance in front of the mirror and catwalk! You can imagine what state they’d usually leave my room when they finally decide to kiss me good nite!

I used to shout down my older niece but when baby Koko joined the fashion show, I became totally amazed at how well she imitated her older sister and played copy-cat. At that point, I couldn’t help but think, how adorable! So, I decided to just have fun with the girls. Now, they scatter all they want and when it’s time to say good nite, I get them to put things back in the right places and everyone is happy.

Few weeks ago, my 6 year old niece said to me, “Aunty Efe, your shoes are almost my size. Very soon, I will begin to wear the same shoe size as you”. I laughed and said to her, “You must really think I’m your age mate”. As she stood there, in front of the mirror butt-naked wearing only her vest and underwear and my black patent stiletto, I admired the freshness of her skin, its smoothness and the firmness of her thighs and wondered if age really is nothing but a number?

I had only just learnt of the separation of Eva Longoria from Tony Parker that morning, and it brought that question to mind. I am a big fan of Eva Longoria and was almost certain that her marriage to Tony Parker wouldn’t work just as Cameron Diaz relationship with Justin Timberlake failed. My reason, age!

I was very fond of the Justin-Cameron duo and was very pained by their break-up, so I decided not to get too attached to Eva and Tony when they tied the nuptial knot back in July 7, 2007. Eva and Tony chose that date (07/07/07) for luck E-news reports, but I guess luck didn’t take them far as the marriage is ending barely 4 years down the line. In some reports, in Hollywood speak, “Irreconcilable differences” is sighted as the reason for the divorce while other news making the rounds is that, Tony had an affair with Erin Barry, wife of his former teammate Brent Barry. They are said to have been sexting; a new slang which connotes racy text with dirty thought.

Be it irreconcilable differences or infidelity, I can’t help thinking that age is the underlying factor. After all, unfaithful spouses hinge their infidelity on something. My good friend Buksicles disagrees with me but you’d agree that something’s gotta give where your man is 7 years younger. If you have followed Eva and Tony’s story, you might be aware that there were also reports 6 months after they tied the nuptial knots that the marriage was in danger following rumours that Tony had a two-month old affair with a French model by the name of Alexandra Paressant who he met at his wedding to Eva in Paris. Tony however took legal action against X17, the gossip photo agency that broke the story, he received an apology and the case was closed merely tagging it a ‘rumour’. If that allegation was true, I wonder if it had anything to do with the youthfulness of Alexandra Paressant, her age or the firmness of her thighs; hmmm!

The reality here though is - how possible would it be for a woman to submit to a man she is 7 years older than? Who will look up to who? Who will be the head of the house?

Eva had mentioned at an interview that she teaches Tony a lot of things because she came to the world first; that didn’t sound right. On the flip side, criticisms trailed Ashton for buying a house for Demi’s daughter. Critics say it shouldn’t be, since her father, Bruce Willis has a very successful career and can afford to buy his daughter a house. As for Ashton, he was being the man of the house and taking care of his responsibilities. Now, that sounds right.

Demi and Ashton Kutcher are still holding it together but for how long? When Demi begins to grow grey and wrinkled and her body begins to sag, will Ashton be there? When her sex drive diminishes, will she resort to hormonal pills like Samantha did in Sex and the City 2, and will it be good enough for Ashton? If Demi is called an old hag beside her man Ashton, even if he rises to her defense, will she truly be able to stomach it?

A lot of older women these days seemingly find solace with the younger men while some others swear it is an anomaly like homosexuality. To them, God created Adam before Eve, and suffices to say that Adam was older than Eve and by inference the man should be older that the woman. That way certain things like maturity would be a given and certain rancour that lead to easy break-ups would be avoided.